All right, all right… we have got to do something about this. Things have gotten way out of hand - and I’m not talking about politics. I’m talking about a culture of unadulterated CRAP.
Specifically, I’m referring to the Time-Warner cable commercial that we’ve been inundated with, featuring Vanessa Carlton. In the odd event that you haven’t seen this, her cover of the Norman Meade song, “Time Is On My Side” is chiming irritatingly away in the background while a klatch of teenage girls are giddily IM’ing, ‘netting’ and generally using their computers to no real productive end. It might be the fact that this ad is on WHENEVER I seem to be watching the tube (which, I admit I should do less of), or that her version of this fine old standard could not be made more saccharine if it were played on a music box, but it reminds me without quarter of everything that I can’t stand about what’s happened to music.
Let me list a few facets of the musical evils foisted upon us:
1) Flat, nasal vocals with 3-note melodies. Okay, so maybe air quality isn’t what it used to be and the hordes of boring-ass “singers” (if they can be called that)are really just victims of poor environmental policies, but dammit, ya gotta try! I’m not expecting everyone to be Ella or Placido, but geez-a-loo! at least try for a few more notes (and maybe some vibrato). For the propagation of this phenomenon, I’d like to thank such “talents” as Stephan Jenkins (3rd Eye Blind), Rob Thomas (matchbox 20) and all others who mine that narrow lode. On the other hand…
2)Yodeling, over-busy, but still nasal R&B vocals. I guess that the execs who sign these acts have no concept of a happy medium. It’s either the pointless gymnastics of a Jessica Simpson (yeah, it was her VOICE that got her signed) or the melodic monotonies of the aforementioned school of thought - which, apparently, by way of their simplicity, have “soulfulness”. Yeah. Sure. Whatever… which brings me to my next point.
3) Prepackaged emotion. Now, I should mention that I’m a fan of Howlin’ Wolf, Elmore James, U2, J.S. Bach, Soundgarden and many sundry acts that have, I think, one thing in common: genuine feeling. These guys weren’t out primarily to come off as “sensitive” or “soulful” or any other of a number of devices that the post-grunge white pop scene have implemented to get contracts or people into bed with them. The music that I appreciate comes across to me as real; as something that these artists NEEDED to do. Mind, I’m well aware that what I’m accusing such bands as Counting Crows and the Gin Blossoms of is nothing new - and for that, I’d like to send a hearty “Piss on you, sister!” out to Billy Joel.
4) STUPID lyrics. Let me give you a sample of what our friend, Miss Carlton is capable of:
Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I’m home bound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd
And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder….
Wow. What insight. What depth.
I could churn this sort of crap out with one BRAIN tied behind my back - ASLEEP! But this is what passes for deep. Dear God, save us from drowning in the teaspoon that our mass unconscious has become!
Now, it has been said of yours truly that my lyrics are (and I quote) “cryptic”. Should you care to sample them, you can link to my home page by way of this site. I think you’ll find that they are no more cryptic than those of say, David Byrne (a big influence) or Thom Yorke (Radiohead). I’m not trying to muddle my own waters to give any illusion of depth that might not be there. If there are any questions, I will gladly field them. There is one thing I would like you to keep in mind throughout: I refuse to talk down to my audience. I will not insult your intelligence by way of broad, oversimplified stanzas. I’m just trying to convey to you the world as I see it - which is what lyrics are all about.
Maybe I’m nuts; the jury is still out on that. However, I know that there is more to the world than what these textbook songwriters with their slate of fixed sentimentality would have us believe. I encourage you to seek out the music that resonates, not only in your feet, but in your head and soul as well.
In the meantime, thank God for the Shins.